NEPAL (12): ANGIE’S EYES ON NEPAL: Arranged Marriages in Nepal

In Nepal, 90% of marriages are still arranged.

I decided to share this article as you might be interested to read. Not much information can be provided, but I hope you find this article interesting to read.

I was told the below:

1) The parent will choose the spouse for their daughters/sons with qualities like:

  • Similar caste
  • Similar family reputation
  • Girls/guy’s qualification (study, job)
  • Girl/guy’s qualities  (look, hobbies, background)
  • Cultural and/or religious understanding

2) The bride and bridegroom normally never set eyes on each other before their wedding day.

3) The bride and bridegroom are having sex for the first time during the wedding night. In Nepal, no dating, no sex before marriage, no divorce. If the

4) The bride must be a virgin or she will be returned to her family even the wedding ceremony took place. If she is returned, she won’t get a chance for the second marriage and she will be abandoned from the society. So, can be very sure here that most of the unmarried “good girl” are still virgin if they not yet married. And, she most probably only has one man – her husband in her entire life.

5) Once married, the bride is belonged to the bridegroom and his family. She can never return home and stay with her parent any more. Even she is treated badly. Thus, all women in Nepal will try their best to please her husband and the family so they can have good and happy life.

6) The couples must be from similar caste. The caste system still exist here in Nepal.

7) The bride’ family needs to prepare dowry. Dowry is the wealth transferred from the bride’s family to the groom or his family. If the bride’ family did not pay the dowry, the bride might be returned to her home, and will be rejected/bullied/beaten by the bridegroom’s family. 

NOTE: There is a friend of mine reject his new married wife due to her family cannot afford to buy him a motorcycle. The bride’s family finally bought the bridegroom a motorcycle by borrowing money from many parties. The bride is not treated well in his family too as she is not from a rich family.

My business partner is married with a daughter.

“So are you and your wife  in love?” I asked.

Siddartha responded: ” Not the love marriage, is arranged marriage. It was difference, it was arranged in the modern way.”

“Yes, but do you love your wife?” I asked again.

“Of course I love her very much. Love marriages don’t last. Arranged ones do.” He said.

My Nepali business did not believe that marriages out of love are realistic because he thinks that love will eventually fade. Instead, he places his faith in arranged marriages that don’t originate in love, but rather gradually develop into strong companionship and then love.

Wish him happy marriage. NOTE: He was married for 2 years now. Below is the happy family photo.

Sidartha family

Below: Me ready in Saree to attend the wedding ceremony. 🙂

Nepal 3

Below is a wedding ceremony which I attended and I post it carefully with some captions. 

Below: They(with bridegroom) are going to the bride home to take her with typical Nepali music. They are using a bus as mode of transportation.

arranged marriage nepal 1

Below: We(the bridegroom) sent many beautiful girls with gifts, souvenirs and foods before the marriage process in bride homes. Parents use their daughters for this job because many boys or parents come there to find the future brides.

arranged marriage 2

Below: Party at the marriage ceremony..with traditional Nepalese dance.

arrannged marriage 3

Below: This is the tradition – Kanyadan. According to the believes, giving their virgin daughter to the husband’s family not only increases and ensures the parents’ prestige, but it is also believed to purify them of sin.

Kanyadan mainly reveals that the wife is a form of Purusarthas like: Dharma,artha, Kama and Moksha. The ritual makes the bridegroom to think that his wife is the most precious gift given by the god Vishnu and the bride to think that her husband is a form of Vishnu. 

arranged marriage 4

Below: Girls at the marriage ceremony. They are waiting to be chosen by the men’s parents.

arranged marriage 5

Below: After the religious process in the bride’s home, the bride is leaving her home for her new home.. The bride brothers need to carry the sister(bride) and brother in law(bridegroom). People say bride is slutty if she does not cry during this process.

arranged marriage 6

Below: Bride is leaving her home for her new home. Her brother is carrying her for good bye.. This is an emotional moment because she cries a lot…When the bride was crying with tears.. her mother became unconscious that what I saw. No picture as I can’t do it during these moments. They will hate me if I take the photo of fainted mother.

arrranged marriage 7

Below: Another 10 years for this little girl to become the bride. 🙂

arranged marriage 8

Below: They carry the bride from her home to the home of the bridegroom. The carrier is called called “Doli” or “Carpes”.  The bridegroom walk behind the Doli, others are singing and dancing with music.

arranged marriage 9

Below: Bride on “Doli”.  The bridegroom is smiling because he knows finally he can have sex for the first time in his life? 🙂

arranged marriage 10

 

Email: angie.ong@eyesonnepal.com

Whatapps ID: + 6012-3679785 (Malaysia/Nepal/Bali)

WeChat ID: Angie_Ong_108

Personal Facebook: www.facebook.com/angieongyeahchee

Website: www.eyesonnepal.com

Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/eyesonnepal2013

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4 responses to “NEPAL (12): ANGIE’S EYES ON NEPAL: Arranged Marriages in Nepal

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